Update

Well a friend commented oh how I have not wrote on this thing at all so I thought I would try to give everyone an update!

Started my job in the ER. Been there for a month and love it. Everyone is really nice and no one makes me feel stupid that I don't know where everything is. There is never a dull moment. For example, yesterday I had a 25wk pregnant lady whose car got trapped under a semi and it took 25 minutes to cut her out, I had a guy who had a roach in his ear that I irrigated out, about 6 people came in with complaints of Chest Pain, I put an NG tube in a person with an abdominal bleed, and much more! Like I said... never a dull moment and you NEVER know what will come in or what crazy thing you will see!

Pregnancy is going good. I am 30 4/7 weeks already. Getting big! Everyone says I am really small but when I can no longer see below my belly naturally, I know I am getting big. Baby is really active and it is a BOY! No definite name picked out yet at this time. I am still nauseated and Zofran is still my best friend for that. He is head down (as he has been the whole time). I started some contractions the other day that lasted from about 5:30-10:30 at night a couple days ago. They were about 10 minutes apart. The next morning my abdominals were sore. Just a preview of what it will be like in 10 weeks (hopefully a little sooner). I started having swelling in my feet a month ago now so I will talked to the doctor about that today. We registered at Babies-R-Us a couple weeks ago so that is done for the most part. When we come home to MN at the end of the week we will run to Target and register there as well so people who do not have access to to Babies-R-Us can easily pick up something. My only concern at this point is that we are having the baby shower with my family after the baby is born so some of the items on my registry, Nate and I will have to go buy if we don't get before hand. Nate's family has talked about throwing a baby shower and if that goes through, I am hoping to have them put something pertaining to "absolute necessities are really needed" so we don't have to buy them all. I hope that is not pushy or rude. Mom said it could come across that way and a friend of mine said that it is a good idea to do.

Nate and I got a dog. Well technically I call it Nate's dog. Her name is Bella and she is about 18 weeks now. She is a QUICK learner but I hate having to take her outside to go potty every couple hours. She is sleeping through the night and won't pee in her cage. She is a German Shorthaired Pointer and her colors are "Liver and Roan" (I think that is what Nate calls it). Definetely alot more work than having my cats. Speaking of my cats, Mihnie and Goldie don't care for Bella. Bella is really playful and wants to play with those two. Instead, the girls turn and smack Bella on the face with their declawed paws and it actually startles Bella. Goldie definitely does not let Bella get in her territory and a couple times she has went to save Mihnie.

Nate is doing good. He is working a BUTTLOAD and I barely see him myself. He worked Friday, Saturday and Sunday he had people over to do landscaping on the yard, Worked Monday, Tuesday and Wednesday he is out of town to teach a class, and then he works Thursday. Reminder, when I say he works, it means he works a 24 hour shift. He leaves at 7 am one morning and comes back at 7am the following morning. I guess I will get to see him this Friday when we take a road trip to MN for the Mississippi Shuffle and to celebrate all the family birthdays this month. It will be some much needed time together. We discussed once the end of August comes around, he will not teach any more classes out of state and be around alot more in case something happens with the pregnancy. He has been supportive and wonderful. Today is his first OB appt he will miss because I told him to go teach the class since the money is so good. Otherwise, he has been to every single Dr. Appt., even the simple ones where they just measure my belly and find the heart tones.

In June I went home to spend time with the family after I took my boards and was side-swiped by a train. When I got home my parents told me my dad has cancer and needed surgery right away. I flew in on Wednesday and surgery was already scheduled for the following Friday. He has multiple myeloma. It is a cancer of the bone (bone marrow) and incurable. Dr.'s say they can treat it but it will never be cured. They believe he has had it for a couple years already. The cancer is a kind that eats away at the bones so my dad has holes in them and he is really fragile. He has a number of holes in his skull and pelvic area. They found a tumor in his right femur that was 9cm long that they removed the following Friday. They put a plate with 10 screws because it was basically shattered. Dr's do not know how he has walked on it for so long that way. At that time they gave him 40 months but we are optimistic that he can defy the odds and pull through this.

Catch up on life

So we found out there are not multiples. I am 19 weeks already and the time has flown by. We can find out if it is a boy or girl but choose not to. Hormones suck... not going to lie. I get annoyed really easy now.

I graduated in the beginning of May and now I am waiting to start my job in the ER at the local hospital here. I can't wait because I am annoyed of being around the house and cleaning... with no help. How many times do we have to ask a guy to help around the house with cleaning instead of spending his time on things just for himself. I want to do that but don't get the time to because I am busy taking care of everything else. Sometimes I feel selfish asking for it... but it is his house too and i shouldn't have to do it all ... or ask for help all the time.. Grr...


Alright, enough for now...

Lindsey

Multiples?!??!

Had my first dr appt on Friday. Did the whole pee in a cup, blood work, exam, Q&A, health history... blah blah blah. While the nurse was doing a health history on me she asked if I have had any morning sickness. Nate chymes in... "She pukes all the time all day and has probably lost 8 pounds from that. She has it really bad." The nurse (acting like it is nothing) looks to the other nurse in training and states, "That could mean there are multipiles." WTF... MULTIPLES? So later the Dr comes in and we are asking questions and I say

"True or False; having extreme morning sickness puts me at a higher risk of carrying multiples?" She turns to me and says "TRUE"

TRUEEEEEE... oh shit. Nate has a big smile on his face bc he wants multiples. I am nervous because I am still adjusting to the idea of on child in my tummy at the moment. We go back in two weeks and they are going to see if they can tell if I have more than one in there or not. So watch for updates. They put me on antiemetic pills (nausea) but even though I take them, I am still puking some. Don't get me wrong... it is better than what it was but still queasy!

Enough of that for now... more hw and trying to go eat.

Baby On Board!

So for those of you who have yet to hear... Nate and I have baby on board! Yep... that's right... 5 pregnancy tests later and we are officially having a lil one... starting a family. We are so excited about it... I of course am hoping for a girl and Nate is hoping for a boy. Nate's response to having a girl... "it is just out of my league... what am I going to do with a girl... play in the mud?" Haha... I am sure he would play a great Ken if she gets into barbies. We are due 10/10 and have our first official Dr. Apt next Friday. I already had one ultrasound by one of the ER drs I work with who just offered to take a look. Sure! I will have a free ultrasound. I could only see one... but Nate really wants twins... possibly triplets. We do not have any in my immediate family but mom always said my sister or I would have them. I hope not me but I will take but I get. We drove to MN last weekend and told my parents. We told his parents Valentines weekend. They are all excited and supportive. My mom's response after she opened the card we got her making the big announcement.... "Really?!" and then precedes to tell my niece Hunter to take the card to my dad whose response was "Ya??" Haha... it was funny. I was a little nervous but coming from such a supportive family I didn't really have any worries. We have always been there for each other no matter what... and I did not forsee this changing anything.

School is going good and keeping me extremely busy. I have a test tomorrow on pulmonary which I should be studying for but I need a break. Less than two months until I graduate and I cannot wait. Next week I have spring break and alot of time on my hands so I will be working on school work that will be due at the end of the semester so I can put some focus on finals the second half of the semester!

I have been cleaning the house all day since I have not done anything since I found out because the prenatal vitamins I was taking were making me so sick. Switched to Flintstone vitamins this weekend (Dr. recommended) and I feel ten times better. So finally our house is looking like a house. Nate got his butt in gear and has been working on the house ... which is good. .. finally!!!! It has been in the 70's down here so that too has had me motivated to do some cleaning and have the windows open! Better than the 40's MN is having... as much as I wish I was closer to family and friends... guys I don't miss your weather... we have dirt down here year round... not feet of snow!

Well time for me to go take a bath and do more studying/relaxing. Peace and quite around the house. Nate is out doing all the grocery shopping... gosh he is such a good help. Gotta love him! Have a great night

Tomorrow is My LAST FIRST day!

So I can finally say that tomorrow is my last first day of the semester for my bachelors degree. I am so excited to be done with school, well at least the first part, and start the next phase of my life, work and becoming a "grown up". I have to admit, I have been extremely antsy since I got back to Illinois because I have not had homework to do. I have just been watching television alot lately and I can only do that for so long. I have been at home alot trying to recover from surgery still. I don't do alot for activity because the arm has been bothering me and can't wait to get back into the gym to workout again. Nate and I hang out quite a bit and I love that. Don't get me wrong, I love spending time with Nate since I have been back but he has his own life to live as well and can't expect him to stay home with me. To be honest, he went and played paintball with the boys yesterday and I was excited about it because he doesn't get out with the boys very often and I think that is key for each of us to have our own social lives to an extent. He came back with welts all over his legs and I found it so funny. He got hit in the "mommy-daddy button" so I hope no damage was done permanently to them.

Today I have been doing homework all day. NOT FUN but at least it is keeping me occupied. Hopefully I will get ahead and not be so stressed since this semester is going to be EXTREMELY BUSY!

A couple days ago Nate and I went to Champaign to buy a 46 inch flat screen tv and everywhere we went they were out of the tv we wanted. WTF! It was a little aggravating, especially since we spent two hours talking to the sales guy about what surround sound to get with it and when he went in back to get the tv, he came back to tell us they were out. Not a happy moment for Nate!

Well time for more reading in advance for class. I am such an over achiever for school...what a dork.

Lots going on... wow time flies by

So I had surgery the day before Thanksgiving. That was one of the roughest things I have been through. I went into surgery under the impression that it would take 20 minutes to fix and came out two and a half hours later to find out I was not born with a labrum in my shoulder and hence the doctor had to construct some. For those who do not know, anesthetics has a tendency of making some people feel ill. I, unfortunately, am one of those people. I was sick from the anesthetics for six solid days post-op. I wanted to puke all the time. I even warned the doctor prior to surgery of this and they administered three different antiemetic medications (anti-nausea meds) but it did not help me. I was constipated for almost a week and I was getting ready to go to the doctor to get an enema and finally I was able to use the restroom. Up until a couple days ago, I have had diarrhea and a raw tush! I was in a sling up until last Friday and now I wear it part days. I started physical therapy on Monday and boy is it sore and a grueling process. No Pain No Gain. I have to wear a belt at night around my chest that holds my arm next to my body so I do not turn it wrong in my sleep. Not the most comfortable but I have adjusted.

Nathan was so supportive and helpful after surgery. He was doing everything from showering me, doing my hair, dressing me, going to physical therapy with me, cutting up food for me, and signing and filling out paper work since I am left handed and that was the arm that had surgery on. So many things that he did not have to do. To this day he still does so much for me. He does a lot of the little things in my everyday life to make it easier on me. For example, I can not get the cap off of the pam spray for cooking because it pulls on my shoulder too much so he will do that. He always wants to help but has also pushed me to be independent and get back on my feet. I cannot say thank you enough for everything he does for me.

Nate's family has also been amazing. On Thanksgiving day his family came and picked me up in Charleston and drove me to Arcola to spend the day with them since Nate had to work. They did not want me to spend the holiday by myself and invited to take care of me for the day since I had just had surgery. They also offered for me to spend the night so in case I needed anything someone would be around to take care of me since Nate worked that night. I honestly feel like one of their own and they are so good to me. Even though I do not remember much from that day due to the Vicodin I was on, it was an amazing and warm gesture on their part. My parents are so thankful that his family has taken such good care of me over the year.

I finished school on the 15th of December for the semester. It was hard with trying to concentrate while being drugged up but I got it done. My teacher has been flexible and understanding with everything I have been going through.

On the 16th of December I flew home and spent a couple weeks with the family. It was so relaxing. I spent everyday but two with family and got out a couple days with long time friends I have missed dearly. I was really looking forward to the snow back in Minnesota since we do not have any down here and boy did we get snow. My sister believes I brought it home with me since I wanted to see it so much! :) I had no complaints. Hunter is huge and a talking machine. Her mohawk hair is so adorable and i hope sometime that I can have her down here for a week to hang out.

I flew back New Year's Eve to surprise Nate. I figured I needed to ring in the new year with my love and I did just that. Ramsey picked me up from the airport and I surprised nate by showing up at his work (he went in for a couple hours of overtime). He was so shocked. I suck at surprised but when I actually can pull them off, I get really shaky and nervous for some odd reason. We went over to a friends house for a couple and then out to the bars for New Years. Nate got hammered but oh well it happens. He was just getting me back for when I got hammered in April. I guess the saying is "payback is a bitch."

This last week has been pretty relaxing as well. I do alot of watching tv and have been starting to go over school stuff. Nate is going back to school this semester as well and trying to finish up his degree. He will only have one class left after this semester. I am so proud of him but I know it will be extremely busy this semester for the both of us.

Well I think that sums it up. I will try to update this soon!

So at 0600 I wake up and that's it... I'm awake. WTF. Oh well so I guess I will make the best out of the time since I am a morning person. Nate worked last night and has school training for work all week as well so after I figured it up... he works 113 hours this week. That is almost 5 full days. His sister in law gives us shit all the time that he never goes and visits her... well he is never here to even see me...lol. Sometimes it sucks because yes I think he works a little to much which leaves me to do all the house work but then on the flip side of it I would much rather him have the drive to want to work rather than not want to work at all. As I always say... "Bring home the money honey." It is also nice because it gives me a chance to focus on my school work on my down time and get some random stuff done so when he is here I can focus on what time we do have and appreciate it.

It is starting to get chilly down here... especially in comparison to last week where it was 75 all week. I raked and mowed the lawn last week and within two days it was completely covered again... grrr that tricked my trigger. Dad always has a perfect yard when I lived at home and that is not the case here. I just want the leaves to fall off the tree so I can bag them and be done with it. They have the steps poured in front of our house and the side walk is poured as well. I think they will be done with all the loose ends this week it looks like. That will be nice finally.

So I looked at Nate's calendar and he picked up extra days to work next week so I can't push forward the surgery... go figure huh! :)

I switched my school around for the last part of the semester so I have to work today 10-5. Not that excited but I need to make a little money with surgery coming up and all. I enjoy working with my assistant manager because we get along really well and can bull shit but also get stuff done. The other two coworkers I work with slack and are not organized at all. They come in whenever they feel like it and or just do not show up unfortunately.

Well I am going to go get ready for work, clean up my messes, practice some NCLEX pediatric questions, and get going. Toodles!

Pediatrics and Surgery

Well the VIKINGS WON! Life does not get much better than that!!!! Tied for first place in the division. So everyone that gave me shit down here in IL about being a Vikings fan can kiss it. I was getting gas the other day and some college aged guy came up and asked me if I was a Viking fan. I said "yes" and he said he was too. He wanted to know where he could get the car decals for his vehicle like I had on mine. SOOOO... this just proves there are Viking fans down here.

I did clinicals in Indianapolis Friday and Saturday at the Peyton Manning Children's Hospital. I worked on the Oncology floor with children who have leukemia. It was so heart wrenching. I look forward to working in the NICU and PICU next weekend when I go back there. I may have found my nitch... Pediatrics. If everything goes really good I will try to find a job in a PICU somewhere for a couple years until I go back for my anestetist. Gosh I can't wait to graduate and start my life. I am honestly really excited for all the changes in the next year. I know everyone says cherish the time you have while you are young but I so badly want to get on a floor and make a difference. I want time to fast foward so I can get by Nursing degree and get out of school but I also want time to stand still so I can enjoy the time I have with Nate. Knowing I will move when I get done with school may distance us two and it scares me a little since he is the greatest guy I have met. I do not question whether or not we can do the distance thing but I just do not want to. I can only hope things will fall into place and he will be able to come with me.

So surgery is in just over two weeks. Wow time has flown by. Where has the last four weeks gone to? School is winding down as well so it is getting into crunch time. I have actually been thinking about trying to move the surgery up to next week since I will be done with school on Tuesday of next week and will not have school again for two weeks. Otherwise, right after surgery I will be cramming for two major tests and I think it may affect me in a negative demeanor. I will keep you posted.

Blah

So I was pretty excited when I got my period last night for the first time in two months. Finally... no more stressing of preggers or not. BUT I do not miss the emotions that go with it. Today I am emotional and have no idea where my emotions are at. I can not tell if I like someone or can not stand someone.... if I want to talk to others or just be left alone... my emotions are a ever revolving door today and I can't figure out how to get out. Maybe it is just because of the dreary day that I am in one of my moods.

I find myself today feeling dependent.... yep I said it ... dependent. I am scared to death of this and wanting to back off and go my own way. Do I have a commitment problem? Is it just that I am emotional today? Am I just scared of that all around and for me that is going too far so I need to back off and put up a boundary to feel safe? So many emotions are going through my head but I do not want to be irrational. I love being independent and this whole "dependent" thing is foreign to me. I find myself scared of getting hurt for some reason. For so long I was in a relationship and I know I would be just fine if things did not work out. It would not have been that big of a deal... but I am really freaked that those thoughts have changed. I guess take it day by day and go from there.

Tanya thank you for posting pictures

Belated Birthday Present

So Nate finally gave me my birthday present this last weekend. He surprised with the best birthday present a girl could ask for. Tanya, Hunter, and Heidi came down and visited me. They got here Saturday morning and just let an hour ago. I had so much fun and miss them so much. Hunter's hair is growing so much but she is definetely going through the terrible two phase. Saturday we went to the "Paw" for a bags tournament that Nate was putting on with the Fire Department to help raise money for the MDA. We went out that night as well. I had so much fun and wished the night would not have ended. Overall it was just a relaxing weekend. I can't wait for the next 6 weeks to go by so I can fly home and see everyone.

For the last month the blog website has not been working. I have tried to post a couple times on here and it wont let me. The blogs I look at had not changed either. Now today I pull them up to try again and all the blogs posted from the last month popped up. What the heck. Oh well... time to study... I have two careplans, two tests, clinicals, and a presentation due tomorrow so I need to get going.

Odds n Ends

Hmm, so I am not sure how long it has been since I wrote on this thing but my life has been busy and chaotic lately.



I have been to the doctor a couple times for various things. Wel back in Jan/Feb I was taking a left turn with my left arm and it popped. I was put in a sling for five days and they thought it would be fine and heal. Now it is October and it is still hurting. Come to find out after an MRI that I have a tissue damage, my shoulder moves too much, and possible rotator cuff injury that I need surgery. I have it the day before Thanksgiving so that it will give me enough time to heal and be ready for the spring semester. I will be in a sling for 6 weeks and possibly up to 9 weeks. I will have physical therapy afterward.



School has also been really busy. Since I am having surgery, I have to finish the semester out early so what I am supposed to be doing in 7 weeks is now being combined down into four weeks. It is stressful but feels good to be getting shit done.



Things with Nate an I are going good. 8 months as of yesterday and time flies by. I have been stressed and cranky lately and he has been really patient and caring with me. I hate it that women have this 28 day cycle and that we get hormonal from it. Just when we become "normal" from bleeding for seven days, we go through all the darn hormonal emotions again a week before the bleeding. I would really like to see a guy go through it sometime and see what they think of it. The last couple days I have been going through the prementrual emotions and I can not even describe them. Nate will ask me what is wrong and the only thing I can say is, I feel like I could cry and emotional but I honestly can not even figure out the emotions myself. How do I expect him to understand. Oh well, life moves on, he is great about it, and that is all I can ask for.



Went to Nashville the last weekend in September for the Viking game and the first weekend in October for the Auburn game. It was about a 5 hour drive from here but I loved it. When Nate and I went to the Viking game we went down town for a night and it was crazy. It was busier than MSP/ST. Paul. Went to Coyote Ugly and a couple other bars. I really like that town. Nate showed me around a little bit since he used to be stationed nearby when in the Army.



Well today is my productive day to get shit done. Write a paper, two care plans, another journal, and hopefully some reading. We will see how far I get.

Frusterated

So I am away from home, all the muscles in my body hurts, my back and neck hurts, I miss my family, I have a test tomorrow, and Nate and I seem to be butting heads. It is so frusterating between Nate and I because we can't even pin point why we are butting heads. Maybe because I am not feeling good I have no sense of humor or maybe he has something on his mind bothering him... I don't know but I wish we could get on the same page. We don't argue... but there is an unspoken tension between us and even when we try to talk about it we still do not know why. I am just keeping myself in my room and trying to give us space. I don't know what to do. I am not used to an unspoken tension. I am have only ever dealt with verbalized tension so this is really new to me when it comes to a significant other. It is kind of a lonely feeling. Maybe because I have not been feeling good and just want to be nurtured is playing a role in this whole thing. Sometimes I miss those overwhelming feelings one gets in the beginning of a relationship between two people. Does this mean we are over the honeymoon phase? Good lord I hope not. It seems way to soon for that. I miss my family so much right now and it just makes everything that much worse. I don't go home and see family til December, which is the longest I have went without seeing family and friends.

Mono

I have mono! BLAH! This sucks...but explains a few things

HW

So I just got assigned 43 chapters to read and a paper to write...does that explain why I have not blogged lately!

Invisible

Remember when you were younger and were told about all the horror stories that happen to people but think you are invisible and it can not happen to you? Well I do but I have recently woken up and come to reality. Two weeks ago I was watching TV and saw Christina Applegates story about breast cancer, her battle, and how she beat it. It gave me the idea to do a self breast exam. Now I never did these on a regular basis growing up even though we were informed to but something told me to do it, to do a self breast exam just to be safe. I started with the right ... all clear nothing. Then I went to the left. Sure enough I find a lump. Now I kept thinking I have my period and it will go away. It will be fine. Then I checked a week later... after I was done menstrating and it was still there. I checked again a few days ago putting me smack dab in the middle of my menstruation cycle and it is still there. Now this got me thinking, "okay time to do something. Apparently this is not just going to go down as my hormones do." I made a dr appt today and had a doctor check it. She feels the left and then asks to feel the right. Feels the left and then back to the right. She sits me up and looks at me and says. "I don't feel one lump" (at this time I am thinking fhew... good... it was my imagination) She continues by saying "I feel three." Three... are you crapping me I am thinking. Good golly. Just what I need to be dealing with right now. Then I think back and remember Christina Applegates strength and think to myself ... "Okay, I can do this. Lets not get worked up yet because we don't know for sure what it is." I am trying to keep a positive outlook on things right now but there is definitely weighing a lot on my mind.

I have definitely been tested by various events over the last year. I have only became strong because of it all but I have to admit, I am ready for a mental break from this all. I can only pray that it will not be anything serious. On September 3rd I have an ultrasound so they can see what it is that is in there.

For anyone who reads this, please do not repeat it to others, ... this is a way for me to vent and get stuff off my chest but would rather not have the whole world know through gossip.

On a positive note, I get to head toward home tomorrow to be with family... that could not have come at a better time! I am determined to have fun and not let this slow me down!

Long time no talk

Almost a month since I wrote in this thing so I figured it was time to update now that I have a little time. I finished my summer classes and have had the last three weeks off now. I work when ever I get the chance to. Nate and I went camping at Shawnee National Forest in the Southern tip of Illinois. We roughed it for the first part of our trip and took all of our stuff on our backs. My pack I carried was 55 pounds. That may not seem like a whole lot but for a 138lb girl, it adds up. I tried to wear the weight on my hips and ended up with some bruising and being very sore. It was an amazing trip and I would do it all again in a heart beat. We camped at a place called Garden of the Gods. It had some amazing views and definitely look back to going there again some time. On the Sunday that we were going to come back, we took a road trip to Kentucky and Tenneessee. Nate showed me where Fort Campbell was. This was where he was stationed when he was in the army.

Last weekend Nate and I went to the wedding reception of one of his fellow fireman coworkers. It was nice and relaxing to have a date with Nate and just relax with friends. We went out to the bars after for a drink and went home. We are both pretty laid back. I wonder if he is turning me into an old woman already. Am I to young to be an old woman?!

On the 18th Nate and I celebrated our 6 month anniversary. It seems like just last month we moved into the house. 6 months is so long for us two but is still really short compared to the other relationships I have been. Us taking our time has really been good and things have been going really good between us. We have had a couple discussions but it is good for us. For the first time I can discuss something with an "adult" instead of ignoring the problem and hoping it will go away like I have had to do in the past. Nate got me a bouquet of red/pink roses and a card. We then went to the drive in movie and saw the new Batman movie. We officially said "I love you" to each other. I had to say it first because he was too timid. Man I tell ya, I have to make the move on him for every step of our relationship. I am truely happy and that is all I can say. That is what is important to me and nothing else matters.

Today I took Nate to the airport. We were up at 5 am and off to St. Louis. He is working in Montana this week teaching a high ropes training course... all expenses paid. So I am home by myself for the next couple days.

On Tuesday I start school. I have two back to back classes and then I will leave and drive to Madison for the night. Wednesday I will drive home from there. Oh so excited to see everyone. Well enough for now, time to continue packing...

Court, School, and More

So I had court on Monday and I won my case. I did not get all the money I was hoping for but I am happy with the outcome overall. Everything going on with the bugs has really challenged me and what I am capable of. I proved to myself that even when life gets really tough, I can still stay strong and fight for what I believe. I did not give up when I felt as if everything was hopeless, rather turned to family for some strength and got through it. Just as my title of this blog says, Strength, Determinence, and Persevere... that is exactly what I did. I can not remember having to face something so tough while I have been on my own.

Anyways, I finished two of my three summer classes, Patho and Geronotology. I got an A in Gero and I am awaiting the grade in Patho. Monday will be the last day of my other class, English, but I have to write 3 papers by then. Nothing like being swamped with hw and working 33 hrs during that time frame as well. Balancing my time will be key. I am hoping Abby and Nate will be able to review and edit my ten page paper somewhat so I can focus on my other two and get those finished.

So as ridiculous as it sound, I have already been making a list of everything I need to do in the next three weeks after school gets out. It is absolutely ridiculous! I can not believe how much stuff I have to do and work full time on any days that I have. My life is so busy now with everything going on, how does one have time to have children, be a wife and everything else. I honestly have zero clue how my sister does it being a single mother and she wants to have more children... husband or not!!! WTF!!! Don't get me wrong, I am happy for her but she must be some type of super woman because I am overwhelmed with out children.

Court and More

Well it has been almost a month since I blogged but life has been so busy. I tried to blog a couple weeks ago right after I got back from MN but when all was said and done, it deleted everything some how. I said screw it and did not want to retype it at all. Well the next big things in my life include court on Monday! I am so nervous that it is not even funny. I have Brian coming down on Sunday and tomorrow I find out if Travis will be down to testify. On top of trying to meet with my lawyer to make sure I have all my T's crossed and I's dotted, I am in the last two weeks of school for my three summer classes so I have finals going on right now as well. My lawyer thinks I can represent myself in court because I seem to be on top of everything and he recommends that I ask for more than what I have originally asked for. He asked me to addend the original report and ask for 8-10,000 instead of $4,000. The judge can always give me less than what I ask for but he can not give me more. I am trying to stay level headed about everything but I do not feel like I am doing a good job.

School seems to be going good for me. I can fail my Patho final and still pass the class... that is reassuring since I may not have a whole lot of time to study for this one. In English I got a 96/100 on my essay and his response insinuated that he really enjoyed reading it. I have another one due this Sunday, a Gerontology assignment due Monday, two quizzed due, a ten page paper due in a week, a final test on Wednesday and anything else that may pop up in the middle some where.

Mihnie gets declawed in the front and back tomorrow. I am so nervous bringing her there. I hate the idea that I am bringing my little girl to a place that will hurt her. It does not exactly sit well with me. I cried my eyes out when I brought Goldie in to get this done. Mihnie is also getting fixed tomorrow. Triple wammy! Enough of this ... time to get back to work...

Parents Weekend

So my parents came to visit me this weekend. It was so nice to see them and actually get the chance to spend quality time with them. They got see what the house looks like now that we have finished a good chunk of it for now and they also got to see what my life is like down here. It was relaxing but busy. Saturday they got here at 12:45 pm... just as we were finishing up the house. We went out to eat at the Alamo and I treated them for their anniversary and Dad's birthday. Sunday we had a lunch get together at the park for everyone who has helped me since I have moved down here. There was 12 of us and it was nice to see everyone and have everyone finally meet my parents. Sunday evening we drove around Charleston and showed them the town. Today we drove to Mattoon and I showed them my work, my old apartment, and a few other places. In the afternoon I brought them to Nate's fire station and he gave them the grand tour. Mom loved it. She was so cute and curious... Just like a little kid. They were genuinely interested in what Nate's job was like.


Back of the ambulance...where Nate hits on the old ladies!

Fire truck

Mom in the firetruck

Nate teaching dad stuff about the engine

This is a camera that can detect heat ... that is mom's face on the camera screen. Creepy!

Mom trying on an air pack... she was nervous because she was struggling with breathing

Trying on Nate's jacket... what is that hand doing between her legs?!?!?
She looks pretty slutty in this picture! Don't worry... we told her!

I hate to see them leave tomorrow morning at 5 am but I know I have studying to do and they have stuff they need to get done as well. Hopefully they will be able to make it down again. Nate was a gentleman and agreed to give up the master bedroom for them when they came so they had a huge bedroom and the attached bathroom all to themselves. What a nice guy he is! Mom and dad think he is great and have a lot of respect for what he does with his life. It is nice to see they all get along so well and my parents approve of him!

Hopefully Tanya and Hunter will be able to come down sometime soon and see me as well! Hunter might like the fire truck?!?! I get to see them next week for She Woman and I am extremly excited. I am all packed and mom and dad are bringing my suit case back home tomorrow so I don't have to carry it on the plane with me on the way there... lighter load!

Awkward!

For the first time since being down here I have felt completely uncomfortable in my own place of dwelling. Nate's entire family came over tonight to help put the house together before my parents came down to visit. They were painting, mudding... you name it... they were doing it. I appreciate their help so much and they got so much done for us but I felt as if I was someone from the outside looking in; not welcome. If I was in the presence of certain family members I got the cold shoulder. I felt alone, shunned, disappointed, and upset. A whirlwind of emotions hit me that I have not had to deal with in a long time and I just shut myself down... became quiet and stayed in my own little corner of the house... daring not to get in the way of anyone. Since I am taking a full load this summer (9 credits ... 6 credits is considered full time) and have a huge test on Wednesday, I informed Nate that I would not be able to sit and work on the house... I needed to study for my exam coming up. I expressed concern to him that his family would be upset with me that they were over here painting since Nate asked for their help, and here I am sitting in the bedroom studying for an exam. I mean, the whole point of having everyone over to get the house done is to try and have the house presentable for my parents. Yes, they were doing so much to help meet a deadline for my family. With not seeing me contribute to the construction being done, I can understand where they are coming from. On the other hand though, I thought they would be more understanding of my circumstance and supportive of my studies.

Anywho, enough of this, I am going to take a bath and read another chapter for my test... never caught up and done with everything in the classroom... less then one year left and I will have my BSN... can't wait!