Mono

I have mono! BLAH! This sucks...but explains a few things

HW

So I just got assigned 43 chapters to read and a paper to write...does that explain why I have not blogged lately!

Invisible

Remember when you were younger and were told about all the horror stories that happen to people but think you are invisible and it can not happen to you? Well I do but I have recently woken up and come to reality. Two weeks ago I was watching TV and saw Christina Applegates story about breast cancer, her battle, and how she beat it. It gave me the idea to do a self breast exam. Now I never did these on a regular basis growing up even though we were informed to but something told me to do it, to do a self breast exam just to be safe. I started with the right ... all clear nothing. Then I went to the left. Sure enough I find a lump. Now I kept thinking I have my period and it will go away. It will be fine. Then I checked a week later... after I was done menstrating and it was still there. I checked again a few days ago putting me smack dab in the middle of my menstruation cycle and it is still there. Now this got me thinking, "okay time to do something. Apparently this is not just going to go down as my hormones do." I made a dr appt today and had a doctor check it. She feels the left and then asks to feel the right. Feels the left and then back to the right. She sits me up and looks at me and says. "I don't feel one lump" (at this time I am thinking fhew... good... it was my imagination) She continues by saying "I feel three." Three... are you crapping me I am thinking. Good golly. Just what I need to be dealing with right now. Then I think back and remember Christina Applegates strength and think to myself ... "Okay, I can do this. Lets not get worked up yet because we don't know for sure what it is." I am trying to keep a positive outlook on things right now but there is definitely weighing a lot on my mind.

I have definitely been tested by various events over the last year. I have only became strong because of it all but I have to admit, I am ready for a mental break from this all. I can only pray that it will not be anything serious. On September 3rd I have an ultrasound so they can see what it is that is in there.

For anyone who reads this, please do not repeat it to others, ... this is a way for me to vent and get stuff off my chest but would rather not have the whole world know through gossip.

On a positive note, I get to head toward home tomorrow to be with family... that could not have come at a better time! I am determined to have fun and not let this slow me down!

Long time no talk

Almost a month since I wrote in this thing so I figured it was time to update now that I have a little time. I finished my summer classes and have had the last three weeks off now. I work when ever I get the chance to. Nate and I went camping at Shawnee National Forest in the Southern tip of Illinois. We roughed it for the first part of our trip and took all of our stuff on our backs. My pack I carried was 55 pounds. That may not seem like a whole lot but for a 138lb girl, it adds up. I tried to wear the weight on my hips and ended up with some bruising and being very sore. It was an amazing trip and I would do it all again in a heart beat. We camped at a place called Garden of the Gods. It had some amazing views and definitely look back to going there again some time. On the Sunday that we were going to come back, we took a road trip to Kentucky and Tenneessee. Nate showed me where Fort Campbell was. This was where he was stationed when he was in the army.

Last weekend Nate and I went to the wedding reception of one of his fellow fireman coworkers. It was nice and relaxing to have a date with Nate and just relax with friends. We went out to the bars after for a drink and went home. We are both pretty laid back. I wonder if he is turning me into an old woman already. Am I to young to be an old woman?!

On the 18th Nate and I celebrated our 6 month anniversary. It seems like just last month we moved into the house. 6 months is so long for us two but is still really short compared to the other relationships I have been. Us taking our time has really been good and things have been going really good between us. We have had a couple discussions but it is good for us. For the first time I can discuss something with an "adult" instead of ignoring the problem and hoping it will go away like I have had to do in the past. Nate got me a bouquet of red/pink roses and a card. We then went to the drive in movie and saw the new Batman movie. We officially said "I love you" to each other. I had to say it first because he was too timid. Man I tell ya, I have to make the move on him for every step of our relationship. I am truely happy and that is all I can say. That is what is important to me and nothing else matters.

Today I took Nate to the airport. We were up at 5 am and off to St. Louis. He is working in Montana this week teaching a high ropes training course... all expenses paid. So I am home by myself for the next couple days.

On Tuesday I start school. I have two back to back classes and then I will leave and drive to Madison for the night. Wednesday I will drive home from there. Oh so excited to see everyone. Well enough for now, time to continue packing...

Court, School, and More

So I had court on Monday and I won my case. I did not get all the money I was hoping for but I am happy with the outcome overall. Everything going on with the bugs has really challenged me and what I am capable of. I proved to myself that even when life gets really tough, I can still stay strong and fight for what I believe. I did not give up when I felt as if everything was hopeless, rather turned to family for some strength and got through it. Just as my title of this blog says, Strength, Determinence, and Persevere... that is exactly what I did. I can not remember having to face something so tough while I have been on my own.

Anyways, I finished two of my three summer classes, Patho and Geronotology. I got an A in Gero and I am awaiting the grade in Patho. Monday will be the last day of my other class, English, but I have to write 3 papers by then. Nothing like being swamped with hw and working 33 hrs during that time frame as well. Balancing my time will be key. I am hoping Abby and Nate will be able to review and edit my ten page paper somewhat so I can focus on my other two and get those finished.

So as ridiculous as it sound, I have already been making a list of everything I need to do in the next three weeks after school gets out. It is absolutely ridiculous! I can not believe how much stuff I have to do and work full time on any days that I have. My life is so busy now with everything going on, how does one have time to have children, be a wife and everything else. I honestly have zero clue how my sister does it being a single mother and she wants to have more children... husband or not!!! WTF!!! Don't get me wrong, I am happy for her but she must be some type of super woman because I am overwhelmed with out children.

Court and More

Well it has been almost a month since I blogged but life has been so busy. I tried to blog a couple weeks ago right after I got back from MN but when all was said and done, it deleted everything some how. I said screw it and did not want to retype it at all. Well the next big things in my life include court on Monday! I am so nervous that it is not even funny. I have Brian coming down on Sunday and tomorrow I find out if Travis will be down to testify. On top of trying to meet with my lawyer to make sure I have all my T's crossed and I's dotted, I am in the last two weeks of school for my three summer classes so I have finals going on right now as well. My lawyer thinks I can represent myself in court because I seem to be on top of everything and he recommends that I ask for more than what I have originally asked for. He asked me to addend the original report and ask for 8-10,000 instead of $4,000. The judge can always give me less than what I ask for but he can not give me more. I am trying to stay level headed about everything but I do not feel like I am doing a good job.

School seems to be going good for me. I can fail my Patho final and still pass the class... that is reassuring since I may not have a whole lot of time to study for this one. In English I got a 96/100 on my essay and his response insinuated that he really enjoyed reading it. I have another one due this Sunday, a Gerontology assignment due Monday, two quizzed due, a ten page paper due in a week, a final test on Wednesday and anything else that may pop up in the middle some where.

Mihnie gets declawed in the front and back tomorrow. I am so nervous bringing her there. I hate the idea that I am bringing my little girl to a place that will hurt her. It does not exactly sit well with me. I cried my eyes out when I brought Goldie in to get this done. Mihnie is also getting fixed tomorrow. Triple wammy! Enough of this ... time to get back to work...

Parents Weekend

So my parents came to visit me this weekend. It was so nice to see them and actually get the chance to spend quality time with them. They got see what the house looks like now that we have finished a good chunk of it for now and they also got to see what my life is like down here. It was relaxing but busy. Saturday they got here at 12:45 pm... just as we were finishing up the house. We went out to eat at the Alamo and I treated them for their anniversary and Dad's birthday. Sunday we had a lunch get together at the park for everyone who has helped me since I have moved down here. There was 12 of us and it was nice to see everyone and have everyone finally meet my parents. Sunday evening we drove around Charleston and showed them the town. Today we drove to Mattoon and I showed them my work, my old apartment, and a few other places. In the afternoon I brought them to Nate's fire station and he gave them the grand tour. Mom loved it. She was so cute and curious... Just like a little kid. They were genuinely interested in what Nate's job was like.


Back of the ambulance...where Nate hits on the old ladies!

Fire truck

Mom in the firetruck

Nate teaching dad stuff about the engine

This is a camera that can detect heat ... that is mom's face on the camera screen. Creepy!

Mom trying on an air pack... she was nervous because she was struggling with breathing

Trying on Nate's jacket... what is that hand doing between her legs?!?!?
She looks pretty slutty in this picture! Don't worry... we told her!

I hate to see them leave tomorrow morning at 5 am but I know I have studying to do and they have stuff they need to get done as well. Hopefully they will be able to make it down again. Nate was a gentleman and agreed to give up the master bedroom for them when they came so they had a huge bedroom and the attached bathroom all to themselves. What a nice guy he is! Mom and dad think he is great and have a lot of respect for what he does with his life. It is nice to see they all get along so well and my parents approve of him!

Hopefully Tanya and Hunter will be able to come down sometime soon and see me as well! Hunter might like the fire truck?!?! I get to see them next week for She Woman and I am extremly excited. I am all packed and mom and dad are bringing my suit case back home tomorrow so I don't have to carry it on the plane with me on the way there... lighter load!