Awkward!

For the first time since being down here I have felt completely uncomfortable in my own place of dwelling. Nate's entire family came over tonight to help put the house together before my parents came down to visit. They were painting, mudding... you name it... they were doing it. I appreciate their help so much and they got so much done for us but I felt as if I was someone from the outside looking in; not welcome. If I was in the presence of certain family members I got the cold shoulder. I felt alone, shunned, disappointed, and upset. A whirlwind of emotions hit me that I have not had to deal with in a long time and I just shut myself down... became quiet and stayed in my own little corner of the house... daring not to get in the way of anyone. Since I am taking a full load this summer (9 credits ... 6 credits is considered full time) and have a huge test on Wednesday, I informed Nate that I would not be able to sit and work on the house... I needed to study for my exam coming up. I expressed concern to him that his family would be upset with me that they were over here painting since Nate asked for their help, and here I am sitting in the bedroom studying for an exam. I mean, the whole point of having everyone over to get the house done is to try and have the house presentable for my parents. Yes, they were doing so much to help meet a deadline for my family. With not seeing me contribute to the construction being done, I can understand where they are coming from. On the other hand though, I thought they would be more understanding of my circumstance and supportive of my studies.

Anywho, enough of this, I am going to take a bath and read another chapter for my test... never caught up and done with everything in the classroom... less then one year left and I will have my BSN... can't wait!