Songs!

Abby sent me this song... never heard it before it is good...

Your finger tips across my skin
The palm trees swaying in the wind
In my tears

You sang me Spanish lullaby’s
The sweetest silence in your eyes
Clever trick

I never wanna see you unhappy
I thought you want the same, for me
Good-bye almost lover
Good-bye hopeless dream
I am trying not to think about you
Can’t you just let me be
So long my luckless romance
My back is turned on you
Shoulda known you would of bring me heartache
Almost lovers always do

We talked along a crowded street
You took my hand and dazzled me
Images

And when you left you kissed my lips
You told me you would never forget these images
Ooo
I never wanna see you unhappy
I thought you want the same, for me
Good-bye my almost lover
Good-bye my hopeless dream
I am trying not to think about you
Can’t you just let me be
So long my luckless romance
My back is turned on you
Shoulda known you would of bring me heartache
Almost lovers always do

I can not go to the ocean
I can not drive the streets at night
I can not wake up in the morning
Without you on my mind

So your gone and I’m haunted
I bet you are just fine
To unmake it there and
easy for you to walk in and out of my life

I never wanna see you unhappy
I thought you want the same, for me
Good-bye my almost lover
Good-bye my hopeless dream
I am trying not to think about you
Can’t you just let me be
So long my luckless romance
My back is turned on you
Shoulda known you would of bring me heartache
Almost lovers always do





The other song I heard recently is...

Roots Before Branches

There’s so many things to do and say
But I can’t seem to find the way
But I want to know how
I know I meant for something else
But first I got to find myself
But I don’t know how

oo Why, do I reach for the stars
When I don’t have wings
To carry me that far

Chorus
I gotto have roots, before branches
And know who I am, before I know who I wanna be
And faith to take chances
To live like I see,
A place in this world for me

Something I want to feel
And forget the pain is real
Put my head in the clouds
ooo I start to run and then fall
Thinking I can get it all
without my feet on the ground
There's always a seed
Before there's a rose
The More that it rains
The more I will grow

Chorus

I gotto have roots, before branches
And know who I am, before I know who I wanna be
And faith to take chances
To live like I see,
A place in this world for me

Whatever comes I know how to take it
learn to be strong and not have to fake it
Oooo you understand it oooo
When you come and do it best
come and leave in the west
But I'll still be standing
Ooo Ill be standing if I have roots before branches
To know who I am, before I know who I wanna be
And faith to take chances
To live like I see,
A place in this world for me

:)

Good News

Every time I turn around another one of my friends is dating another guy or going to start dating a guy and now two of my really good friends say "I think he is the one." Don't get me wrong, I am EXTREMELY happy for them but it just makes me realize that I am definitely in that age where everyone gets hitched and/or is having babies. K, well I am out of the loop for both (which I am okay with) but it really makes me feel old. If all goes well for one then she thinks there will be a wedding next year and for the other... well lets just wait and see how things go.

Nate I am to relay a message to you...

Abadabber (7:03:15 PM): does nate use any online talking?
Abadabber (7:03:20 PM): aim?
LiNnEr828 (7:04:35 PM): no... only when he is on facebook...there is a talking thing that he does
Abadabber (7:04:47 PM): geeeez. tell him to get with it and stop being so old
LiNnEr828 (7:05:28 PM): you tell him

Anyways back to my good news... checked my transcript for LCNEIU and found out I did not calculate my GPA for school... I have an OVERALL GPA of 3.6 and not a 3.4!!!! I am so happy! It dropped a little bit a year and a half ago and I have recovered!!! That completely just made my day!

Lost and Found

Found the dog. I had to shock him for about 3-4 seconds straight and then he came running back. I felt horrible for doing it but would have felt even worse if I didn't have him here when Steph and Kyle got back. Layed outside for 3-4 hours today. Got a little crispy but I should be okay. It would have been so nice to have a pool to lay in while I was tanning but oh well... maybe in July when I come back up here for the 4th of July. I am actually hoping to convince Nate we should get a pool for the backyard. Dropped a hint about it last night but he didn't seem convinced. My theory is... he will get to see me in a bikini more often.... :) Maybe that will give him so incentive. Hmm... maybe I will try that. Well just got done taking a shower so I better go finish getting cleaned up. Might go into town tonight and do a little shopping. Sounds good to me!

Lost DOg

So I am dog sitting right now and I cannot find Porthos, he even has a shock collar on and he is not coming... Steph and Kyle told me last weekend that he will come back so I am going to wait an hour and if he doesnt come then I will have to start making some phone calls.. grr... I knew there was a reason why I don't dog sit... I hope he comes back. Lets just pray about now...

Off to a Bad Start

So only 6 hours after I get here, I went to grab something out of the fridge and a steak fell on the ground... Porthos ate the WHOLE THING!!! WTF and he was not giving it back. I am hopping in bed for the night and will be upset if he craps all over in my room or even worse... on me... Oh I hope not. Man I need to be trained in how to deal with a dog... the darn thing definitely has the upper hand... I am just trying not to show it....

Nate thanks for answer my question and I hope you are right! Good luck with fighting your fire that you got called in on! Be safe!

Night everyone!

Dog Sitting

So this weekend I am dog sitting in Peoria, IL for Steph and Kyle. I was scared crapless on my way here because we had a huge storm go through (tornado warning, 20 degree temperature drop in a 20 minutes, and POURING rain) and I could not see the road for the life of me. I wonder what my blood pressure was at that point. Needless to say I got here safe! It made me think of the time it was pouring back home and my sister wiped out on highway 61 and ended up in oncoming traffic back when she owned her black cavalier. EEEKKSSS.

I have never been a dog person so this should be interesting. I spent last weekend with him(Porthos) so he is used to me and I am warming up to him. This should be a good weekend for me to lay outside and tan my pasty tush while studying hard core for 4 tests I have next week. I aced my first test in Gerontology and hope to continue the pattern.

I got an email today. Decatur is starting a nurse externship (student nurse) on June 23rd and having people apply right now. I am going to apply for that and hope that I can get my foot in the door there. I know it is a little bit of a drive but it is a good experience to have. I will not work at SW as much even if I don't get paid for the externship. Money is only a number but skills are forever.

Time to eat! MMMMmmmm.

Girls!

Steph-O and Gretchen's House

Jeffersons

Brother's Bar

Res Life Banquet
Steph and Kyles Rehearsal Dinner

So after spending the last couple of days up here in Peoria with a couple of the girls, really makes me miss everyone. I have not seen Gretchen in over a year until a couple days ago and Steph-O I have seen a few times since I have been down here but it just is not enough. I went from being able to see them everyday in college to know... once in a BIG blue moon. . . Reminiscing about all the good times we had and still adding to them each time we get together... It just makes it so hard to know that I am going to have to leave and drive one way and Gretchen and family the other. Kimmie was unable to come here this weekend which was a big bummer. I haven't seen her in over a year as well. This is one of the disadvantages of growing up and growing apart... it can happen to those we are really close too. Our relationship with each other is to the point that even though we may not see each other for a year... we would still call each other best friends. We would still want them right there at our wedding... probably even a bridesmaid. Those who I consider those really good friends would be Tanya, Heidi, Abby, Gretchen, Kimmie, and Steph-O. Everything will work out though... July 4 everyone is getting together again at Steph-O's house. Gretchen's new man may even be there so I finally get to meet someone of significant importance to her. I am happy that she is happy... if anyone deserves it ... she does... she has been through so much. If her man does come up I will see if Nate wants to come but if her man does not, then I am leaving the boy behind.

I used to bring someone I am dating with me everywhere. It is just like that saying, "Don't leave home without it." Well I have finally gotten over that stage and it feels good. I don't need the person I am with to be with me everywhere. It is nice to go our separate ways and to "breathe" different air. Alot has to do with maturity and trust on my part.

July 12-14 (or something like that) I will fly to MN for She Woman. I am trying to get Abby, Heidi, and Gretchen to come with possibly. I think they would thoroughly enjoy it. This will also give me a chance to spend some more time with my FAVORITE girls and my SISTER!!!!! (I will see my niece too... cant forget about that Lil ham) Well time to crack down on some HW before the rest of the people in the house get up and things get busy. I am going to try and go look at Equinox's today hoping since it is Memorial Day they might have a good sale... wait shoot... it is Sunday... grr... Never mind then. Maybe on Tuesday or Tomorrow I will try in Charleston. Maybe Nate can come with me and give me input. SO I guess that means today's agenda is filled with laying out and getting a tan! Oh so Hard Work! ;)

Flopped...

So last night shortly after I went to bed, I flopped out of bed and smucked my foot. Go figure... "grace". I mean what can I say, I have to live up to the nickname and my most recent on.. Murph. I woke up this morning and it feels pretty bruised. The ache and pain goes a third of the day up my tibia/fibula and down to my toes. Look forward to this just healing normal and I be done with it. I am honestly one of the biggest cluts I know... and the thing is... it doesn't even phase me anymore. Sure I may hurt but I get over it, deal with the pain (sometimes chronic) and move on to the next phase of my life.

Yesterday I was pleasantly surprised with a bouquet of roses for Nate and I's 3 month anniversary (goodness that is such a small number) They were gorgeous!!!


I have tomorrow off and can't wait. It will be lying out and catching some sun. I will do some studying since I start class the next day but I just look forward to getting a tan. I should also probably bring my car in because it is still not sounding right... something is wrong with it... it all needs new tires... ahhhhh I need a new car. I wish money grew on trees (no Tanya... not the kind mom makes and gives to you for christmas... that would not quite cut it) but honestly... what the heck. I also hope to get some more painting done tomorrow and clean my stuff up in the master room... busy busy but oh so relaxing at the same time! Well time for bed and I look forward to sleeping in tomorrow... it will be my one day during the week for the whole summer that I will get to do this because I will have class and work every day... Boo

Night all!!

Turning a New Leaf

So for the last year I have been very guarded with my feelings because I was hurt so bad in my last relationship. I found it easy to keep my wall up and just be friends with everyone. If I did go on a date with someone I would only go on a couple and leave. Now I find myself in a different situation; I find myself without this tall wall built around me and somewhat vulnerable. I brought home Nate last week to meet my family and to just get a way and have a vacation. Prior to him coming home to visit I was unsure whether or not I was still ready to give my all to a relationship.

Well my family and friends think he is wonderful!My mom commented on how mature he is. My sister and him hit it off right away as well. If you did not know us, you would of thought those two were dating. They crack me up when they are together. She couldn't believe how generous he was. "It is nice to know there are still a few good men out there" was one of her comments. My friend Abby and him got along really good as well. Just seeing the interaction between them opened my eyes up and put me at a whole new comfort level with him. Knowing that my family seems to really approve of him and have a great amount of respect for him really means alot to me. I did alot talking with my family about him and everyone had nothing but nice things to say... they did not appear apprehensive. My family really stressed to me that I need to let my guard and let him in before I never get the chance period.

Not only that, someone said something to me that really hit home. "Love like you have never been hurt." Now for those of you who don't know me, that is something that is hard to do but I have come to a point in my life where if I don't take a chance... then I will never know. Now I am not saying I am in love or anything that mushy... but I actually feel that I am safe to let my guard down and see where things go between us. New step in my life... slow and steady... steady and slow... that is the way to go!

Nate and I at his family pictures

At Benihanas in the Twin Cities

Well I need to start working on some home work for class next week... I think I did enough mushy mushy in this to last a while. Easiest to get it done now since Nate is working for two days straight (48 hrs). Night all!

So I am back in IL again. I went home last week to visit family and spend some time with my mom for Mother's Day. The trip flew by so fast but I got to see alot of people I have not seen in while. Monday night I spent the night in Peoria visiting Steph and Kyle. I spent time with my sister and we had an entertaining Tuesday night. Lets just say one of us sisters was pretty "lit" (and it wasn't me) and we were in bed by midnight. She made Nate get in different poses and this is one of them. It was a very entertaining night.

`

Wednesday night I went to the cities and ate at Benihanas with Travis, Ug, Abby, and Nate and then went to Abby's house for the night. Abby and I ganged up on Nate during our pillow fight and kicked his tush. It was just like the good ole times between us to girls.

Nate is scared of the pillow... BABY!!!

Thursday was a low key day. Went to MOA and did LOTS of shopping! Yay. I love buying new clothes. Later that evening we had dinner and we went to my brother's softball game and saw the movie "Maid of Honor". It was cute. Friday I watched Hunter for a couple hours and test drove a G6 since my car in not acting quite right still ... even though I just put an engine in it. Friday night we went out to the bars and visited with everyone. Saturday I spent all day with Hunter. My how she has grown so much in the last couple months since I have seen her. Her vocabulary is forever expanding and extremely smart. Sunday was a day for Mom and it was nice to catch up with her.

So I filed my court papers today and I have court on June 5th against my old landlord who had bed bugs in the apartment I moved into. I added up all the expences and it comes to over $4000.00. Wow that is alot... well I wanted to write more but it has already taken me a few hours to write this much and need to get to bed!

Pushing Through and Being Successful!

Wow, life has been crazy busy over the last couple of days. I feel as if I have a sense of accomplishment though. I took my last final on Friday for Interactional Dynamics. I think I did pretty good and overall for the semester, my GPA will either be a 3.6 or a 4.0. No one would understand how good it feels to have those good of grades after everything I have went through this last semester. I do not mean this in a cocky way, but I am actually proud of myself for my accomplishment. I feel that I have proved to myself that no matter how difficult life gets, I have the strength to over come it and still be successful. A few semesters ago, I was not so proud of myself because I could not juggle the troubles that stare me in the face and my school work and hence, my school work suffered. I became so lost in all my troubles and could not get on the path to success until I made some changes... weeding out the bad and bringing on any challenge that dare lie in my path and try to challenge me that I could not overcome. I made a promise to myself afterward that I would never let anyone or anything get in my way and I am going to keep that promise. Nothing in my life is more important to me than my education because that will affect me for the rest of my life. That is my dream and anyone or anything that tries to get in the way of it, are not a necessity in my life. I WILL PREVAIL.

I believe that the events in my life is what gives me my sense of confidence. They have shaped who I am but at the same time, given me a chance to experience things in life... good and bad. The good has a lot to do with my family and their solid structure. Yeah any family has its flaws, but it is the overall strength and support of each other that gives me a complete sense of comfort. If my sister, Tanya, and I are arguing or if mom is just being too picky and making me mad, I still know that they will be there for me, and I for them. We will make up and get over it... in the long run it makes us stronger and will build a stronger sense of understanding of the other person. As the saying goes, "Everything happens for a reason," and I, along with my sister, firmly believe in that. Anyways, my family is the best thing that ever happened to me. I can say whole heartily and honestly that they are my everything. Yeah I may not call everyday and talk with them but they are always in my heart.

THE BEST PERSON IN MY LIFE... MY SISTER AND I

Mom and I

So getting back on track, the bad... well the bad I will not be specific but I have been faced with a number of bad events in my life but feel I have learned so much. I am a firm believer that if you can make the best out of a bad situation and learn from it, then it can be made into a positive event. At first it may be hard to see the good that comes from such a horrible situation but it is there... I promise. It took me a while to see that in the bad and I am still figuring out how I can make good out of some of the bad in my life ... but it is there... I just need to keep digging and I will find it. All the bad that has happened in my life is how I came up with the title to my BLOG profile.

All the good and bad stated above has given me my confidence... it has guided me to be who I am today. I can say that I have changed so much and am a much different person today and who I was two years ago. Two years ago I was a very different person than what I was two years prior to that. I do a lot of reflection in my life and can see how I have grown over the years... again it feels like a sense of accomplishment! I am comfortable in my skin and it shows because I AM NOT SCARED TO BE ... OR BE JUST ME!!

Well I better get packing because I leave for MN tomorrow and can't wait to see everyone ... :)

OOOooooddddllleeesss TO DO!

So wake up this morning almost in tears... my sciatic nerve hurts more than ever and Nate takes a few minutes to rub it. Good golly miss molly, why the heck does this hurt so much? Completely ready for the pain to go away... hopefully before I go to MN to be with family...

I get home today after I get off work and look around... holy crap our house is a mess. There is so much stuff that needs to get done yet I don't have enough time to do it by myself and Nate has class so he doesn't have the time to do it. Is this what it will be like when I get my own house someday... you can clean and clean and clean but everytime you turn around, something has to be done and you feel like the work is never ending. Despite the sciatic nerve pain I hope to clean the bathrooms, finish the trim in my room, fill in the nail holes in the trim, do some laundry, get my FAFSA done for school, water the grass, study for my final test tomorrow, work on my last assignment for school, apply for school at Lakeland college so I can take that last English class and start packing for MN(which I leave Monday night and will drive half way and get there Tuesday). So in other words, A SHIT LOAD! Nate's family is coming over on Saturday for his birthday and I really want the house to look presentable for them. He works over night tonight so it will be a time crunch but we will see. I am excited to see the finished product of my room when I am done because I am trying the crackle technique on the walls.

Well I best get to it so I have enough time to get it all done... not a moment to waist! Toodles!!!